Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
