he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is Oprah even human
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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