hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
