so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
