I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
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just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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