don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
