His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
