he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
