I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
