This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
