im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
