Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize