Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
