I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
