Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
