Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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