she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize