God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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