You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
