She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
