There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
