Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
