We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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