i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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