Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
