You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
