Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
