Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
