worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like