How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
