Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.