My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad