Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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