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Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
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