yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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