toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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