He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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