He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
