This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
