Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
