look no pants
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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