I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
