I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize