i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My life is pants optional.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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