Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
