I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
