I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
