i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
