there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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