***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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