Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize