I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
