I can't breathe out the right side of my face
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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