Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize