Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
