why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
