i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
