I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
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Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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