Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We have started to decorate penises.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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