Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We just shotgunned beers for America
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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