I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
