sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
