I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
