at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Congratulations! We have a period
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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