i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
