Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just found puke in my bra..
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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