How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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