Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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