i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
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Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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